dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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