She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
