So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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