Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
