so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
