"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I have post one night stand depression
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
