It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
