xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
