I must be too annoying 4 u.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think my moral compass just broke
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
