I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
