But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
