by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
