The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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