I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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