I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I skipped work to stalk him.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
