I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
