Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize