I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
