I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
