I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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