her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
