and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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