Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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