So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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