clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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