i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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