I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize