Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
