i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
