idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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