shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
