You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
