It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
