I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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