we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize