i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
