Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm always down for nudity.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
