people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
