I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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