You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
