Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
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