it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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