My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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