Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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