dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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