Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize