You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
