YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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