Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
