I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
