True but thats because hes a fetus.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
