dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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