Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize