I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
