I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
