I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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