I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize