she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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