Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize