i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
