Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
